Monday, June 21, 2010

for me


today's utmost for his highest

The Ministry of the Inner Life
June 21 2010
You are . . . a royal priesthood . . . —1 Peter 2:9

By what right have we become “a royal priesthood”?  It is by the right of the atonement by the Cross of Christ that this has been accomplished. Are we prepared to purposely disregard ourselves and to launch out into the priestly work of prayer?  The continual inner-searching we do in an effort to see if we are what we ought to be generates a self-centered, sickly type of Christianity, not the vigorous and simple life of a child of God.  Until we get into this right and proper relationship with God, it is simply a case of our “hanging on by the skin of our teeth,” although we say, “What a wonderful victory I have!”  Yet there is nothing at all in that which indicates the miracle of redemption.  Launch out in reckless, unrestrained belief that the redemption is complete.  Then don’t worry anymore about yourself, but begin to do as Jesus Christ has said, in essence, “Pray for the friend who comes to you at midnight, pray for the saints of God, and pray for all men.”  Pray with the realization that you are perfect only in Christ Jesus, not on the basis of this argument: “Oh, Lord, I have done my best; please hear me now.”

How long is it going to take God to free us from the unhealthy habit of thinking only about ourselves? We must get to the point of being sick to death of ourselves, until there is no longer any surprise at anything God might tell us about ourselves.  We cannot reach and understand the depths of our own meagerness.  There is only one place where we are right with God, and that is in Christ Jesus.  Once we are there, we have to pour out our lives for all we are worth in this ministry of the inner life.

Monday, April 19, 2010

an opening

so much beauty in this world
a field of poppies and a good song
a picture of a field of poppies and a good song

is enough
to bring the joy into my heart,

the love grows.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

presence

i don't know how quite to describe it-

last year, one day during the summer, i went to urban outfitters to get something. or at least i think i did, because i remember a bag in my hand and walking from elm and york street. it was a beautiful day outside, breezy and cool, with the sun shining down . i felt its heat upon my body. and i started smiling, and laughing, inexplicably. the beauty of the day seized me, my heart, and all i could do was rejoice. i walked, then, from that corner to my home on chapel and high, and it was as though i were in a spot of sun i could not get out of. and while i was in it, i felt my heart lifting, felt myself in absolute peace and freedom. and i loved.

the way in which that moment comes back to me now and then, the way in which it seems pure and set apart from everything else i have experienced, makes me feel it was the presence of the Lord.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

the holy spirit, to me

i wish to be alive, in the best of ways

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

early in the morning

i didn't know this before, but i just realized,

i always loved waking up to a saturday morning at yale.
in that time between unconsciousness and slowly waking,
there was a half-formed thought, a feeling of what could fill the day-
brunch late in the morning, with afternoon light; coffee or ice cream with a friend; a walk under autumn trees; someone to study with and spend slow hours in lc or the library with; procrastination; an event to go to at night.
people i wanted to see and it made me happy being near.
that made me content, even as i lay in bed and adjusted my eyes to the morning coming in through the window.
like a feeling of sun slowly coming into my body, growing warmer.

the hours stretched long before me, but they were promising.
mine to spend the way i wanted to.

senses that my mind, body are alive, stirring, even before i wake.

i like it.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

more and more

steps are taking me away from the past-

its hard, because sometimes,
some parts
i don't want to leave.

Monday, August 31, 2009