:)
but its not about you. haha. related to you.
blessed are those who hunger and thirst
i was reading a series of beatitudes in a random reflection book the other day. and for some reason, it was this part of the justice and righteousness one that struck me deeply.
those who hunger and thirst.
i think i got really frightened. because this semester, i began to lose that hunger and thirst, for something better. i do not know if i have ever felt that, in quite that serious and insidious of a manner. how is it even possible to strive for something if you do not desire it? and how it is possible to desire something if you do not remember it?
a recognition of the reality that ... this world is strong, and it can dissolve your ideals and your beliefs. it can. in goodness, and love, and mercy, and kindness, and forgiveness, and self-sacrifice. how it is that children and people lose the sense of what is supposed to be and who they are supposed to be.
how the self becomes inured to what is less. and settles more and more deeply in it, because it is too hard to desire what is more.
hunger and thirst. i think i will have lost everything if i lose those two.
i need to be reminded every day. because i know, to let go of what i dream of and know to be right, would be to give up on anything of value.
i think- to give up on the world as it should be and could be.
...because when you feel the weight and truth of goodness, and do not have it, its a hurt your heart, down to the bones kind of ache for something that is not there. and you will work at it with your all, to taste it. to make others see it.
and so, the terror, really: what if i lose it?
